I shall write in English, though it is not my first language, making use of terms colloquial and technical both, recreating truth with respect to my controversial origin, extrapolating fact from the fiction I now am... How? A question seldom asked by those perceived as "normal". Mother met father. Sperm met egg. Conception led to quickening. What more need be known about a process so routine?           Everything! When Mother Nature herself arches a leery brow, dubious of a creature designed like me, details of one’s coming-into-being amount to an obsession. Mine, herein disclosed, will verge on the surreal.